“Thank you,” you say, your minion’s smile ever so broad. Your own smile, your own gratitude, all so fake and so far away.
Never do you mean the thank-yous, never do you feel them. Nothing reaches into your heart, not from the world outside; you and it are always far apart.
You see, but you cannot feel. Those who should be your closest friends; even as they stand next to you, they’re oh so far away. Even as you share hugs, they remain parted from your heart by an ocean larger than any found on Earth.
You are alone.
You have stooges. You have minions. You have a mother you’ll not see, and a father who won’t see you.
But in the end, all you really have is yourself.
And then, you realize, you don’t even have that.
You are alone.
You do it to yourself, but you cannot stop. You put up these walls that you cannot tear down. They surround you. You’re alone, you’re boxed in, you cannot go anywhere for there is nowhere to go, not when you’re alone, not when you’re here, not when you’re where you always are, locked inside your tiny box.
You can’t feel a thing. Everything’s from miles away. Things that should bother you pass beneath your notice. Those few that get through stir you into the depths of fury–an impotent fury that ferments with you inside your little cage, fermets until the dam bursts in a brilliant explosion that, just as quickly, vanishes.
You do it to yourself, but you don’t mean to, you don’t want to. You want to tear down the walls; you want to open up; you want to be free.
In the real world your power is considerable. You seek it–you seek it ardently–but it is entirely useless, for you do not live in the real world, and as much power as you may attain there, you will still live–you will always live–powerless, inside your box.
There’s no-one you can share anything with, not even yourself. You can’t believe how you, yourself, feel. You’re not supposed to feel this way; you should be different; things should be different; but they aren’t.
You’ve locked it all away, and now, even you cannot find it.
You’ve locked yourself into your little box, but you’re not even there; you tore yourself piece from piece, each into its own box, each with its own key, and then, each key, you threw away.
You have lost yourself.
“Thank you,” you say, but you don’t know what you mean.
You feel nothing.
You are alone.