“I have somewhere to be,” whispers Hannah. The digital purple eyes of the robot guard holding her in place slowly blink.
“There are very few people whom I allow to handcuff me,” she states. “But while I am here, I will answer all of your questions.”
At last, the government agent across from her looks up. “Yes,” she continues, “I do have a secret robot army, and no, I do not want to take over the country.
“I want to take over the world.”
Sirens sound. Lights flicker. The room shakes. The government agent stands, reaching for his gun, but it is much, much too late: he finds his own gun pointed at him, held by the same robot guard that had only moments ago been holding Hannah.
Hannah does not stand. “Purple,” she intones. The amethyst gem hanging upon her choker glows violet—
Clang! Her handcuffs hit the floor.
“I always thought ‘Hannah: Emperor of the World’ had a nice ring to it.”
“Yes, Elizabeth, The Emperor’s takeover—long may she be remembered—is indeed public record,” says your interviewer as she digs through the pile of pens she brought in with her.
You can’t remember her name. Perhaps it started with an S. “But that hardly means we shouldn’t talk about it. Elizabeth… I really wish you’d open up.”
You really wish she’d leave you be.
“I’m just doing my part in the worldwide government you designed in the wake of our glorious Emperor’s—“
“A government,” you remind her, doing your best to channel Hannah, “which I can un-design.“ You wish Hannah were here to rescue you. She always was better with people.
“Elizabeth, please,” she begs. You prefer ‘Liz.’
Fine. “Hannah was something like ten,” you begin. She was eight and a half, but whatever. “A wild unicorn appeared. Almost killed her.”
If your interviewer is at all surprised by the concept of a wild unicorn, she doesn’t show it: she merely glances at the small sculpture upon the table beside you of a young woman slitting a unicorn’s throat moments before it buries its long sharp horn into her father.
Anna, your sleek, metallic, and rather murderous robotic friend, pours you another glass of wine. She offers one to your interviewer, but your interviewer declines. Maybe she’s afraid Anna may have poisoned it. A year ago you’d have thought she’d poison you.
Her hand lingering on your shoulder for a moment, Anna returns to sharpening her rather impressive collection of knives.
“Then this idiot in a cape appears out of nowhere and, with his magic, saves her. Not sure what he did with the unicorn.” You know exactly what he did with the stabby demon horse. “Anyway, his family takes her in, they fall in love, you know how it goes.”
You think it might be too obnoxious to sing ‘Hannah-and-Peter sitting in a tree.’ Hannah would say it wouldn’t fit with the part of yourself that you wish to project. Ah, Hannah.
You might be a bit tipsy, but you’re not as tipsy as you let on. Best fix that. You take another big gulp of the Pinot Noir. Fuck sipping.
“Then he dumps her.” Only complete and utter idiots dump Hannah. “Not-safe-to-be-with-me and all that. Said one day, he’d return. Same time. Same bridge.”
“Bridge?”
“Yeah, they were on a bridge. Anyway, she must wait, wait for her hero to return, and one day, they would be together at last!”
You roll your eyes. You don’t much care for Peter.
“I imagine this bridge must have been significant for the Emperor—may her memory live forever,” you hear your interviewer say.
You don’t really get the honorifics. She was Emperor for like, what? A day? You’re sure Anna must have brainwashed everybody. It would be her idea of a joke.
Your interviewer fidgets with an orange pen, reflecting light off a bit of metal that— “Is this the same bridge where you two met?”
They want to remember Hannah forever. “Long ago,” they’d say, “there was an Emperor.”
“Long ago,” you say, “I ran.”
Duck! The purple heat misses your left eye by inches. Another monster ignites before you, its raging purple fire leaping and reaching and roaring, tendrils of flame forming into wispy arms—
They’re everywhere.
“You,” they say. “It,” they whisper. “Thing,” they roar. “Murderer!” they accuse. “An eye for an eye…” Their voice. Her voice. For a moment, you’re convinced she’s still alive, still after you—
You look over the railing. The water is so far down… You look back—
Monstrous purple fire consumes the bridge. Heat blasts against your skin. You are sickened by the heavy scent of the wood burning and crumbling beneath your feet.
All you’ve ever tried to do is survive, but now there’s nowhere left to run, and nobody left to run with, and you are left alone with the demons.
Close your eyes. Prepare to jump—
“Come here often?”
Your eyes snap open.
She hovers before you on her pitch-black motorcycle, a slight smile upon her lips. Her eyes dart along the bridge, and worry crosses her face before she schools it into the harsh scowl that you somehow think is her usual.
“Get on.” You stare. “You,” she commands, “Get on!”
You jump.
“That was long ago. Long before she ever was Emperor.”
Your interviewer nods absently. She picks up one of her green pens, and balances the clip upon her lip for a moment as she ponders. “Isbeth…” she says, and the pen falls onto her lap. “Elizabeth, I want to understand. I want to understand The Emperor, and I want to understand yo—“
“Hannah. Her name was Hannah. She was a person. She made me happy. And she was mine.“
Everything is falling apart.
Your heart pounds. Hannah cowers at your feet, begging, pleading that she’ll be good, that she’ll do whatever you say, her voice shaking, tears flowing freely from her eyes; anything, she says, anything—
What did you do? You wanted her to be happy. You must have pushed her, hurt her in a way she never wanted… Anna’s metal fingers hold a knife to your eye, but it is much, much too late. Why didn’t Hannah say something? She’s supposed to say something, say “red” or “black” or even “purple,” use her choker, not let you—
Why didn’t Anna do her job? Why didn’t she stop you? Is it even Anna holding the knife to your eye? Is it even a knife?
“An eye for an eye, Elizabeth…” Your mother’s voice echoes in your mind. “Such an innocent looking thing little Lizzie is… But we know better, Elizabeth, do we not?”
You can see her face, illuminated by the lighter in her hand. She reaches for you, her burnt right eye bandaged with the rough rag, her menacing left eye boring into your own.
“Such a terrible thing is Elizabeth, to do such a thing to its mother… An eye for an eye, Elizabeth…”
For a moment, you feel the heat of her lighter in your left eye, and you’re sure she must have burnt it blind…
Something pokes you in the side.
You gasp for breath.
It was all a dream. None of it happened. None of it could have. Hannah’s safe. You can feel her in bed next to you, and the sunlight upon your face…
“Hannah,” you mumble. Your eyelids are so heavy. You just want to lay here forever.
Ouch! You roll over. “No poking,” you mutter, not opening your eyes. Ouch! “Bad Hannah!” Ouch!
“Bad dream?” she asks. You wish she’d let the memory fade into nothingness. “Her?” she presses.
Unconsciously, your hand reaches for your face. Hannah’s beats you there.
Her own face is half-made: half the soft, sweet part of herself she shares with you, and half the harsh, cold part of herself she shares with the world.
She needs that cold part of her today.
The robots that apply her makeup wait for her return, but she’s in no rush. She gently traces the scars around your left eye. You hate those scars.
“I love my gigantic feet,” Hannah blurts out. “I love them because I am yours, so they are yours, and I’m not allowed to hate something of yours.” She smiles guiltily. “You only had to tell me a thousand times.”
She kisses your scars, slowly, gently, softly. “Sometimes, Liz,” she whispers, “I wish you were mine instead of me yours, so I could be there for you like you are for me.”
Everything is perfect.
You think her face—and the rest of her—turned out quite well for the day. It’s a bit hard to tell over the feed, but you think the government agent is properly intimidated. He can barely look at her.
You wish you could be there with her, that you could help her, but this is her challenge. Instead, you sit in your home at the top of the tower she built, a thousand stories above the city sprawling below, awaiting her return.
Again, it’s hard to tell over the feed, but you think she’s annoyed. You’re pretty sure one way or another she’s not going to miss tonight, but the only way out of this would be…
Holy shit. She’s actually going to do it.
“There are very few people whom I allow to handcuff me,” her voice echoes from the speaker. “But while I am here, I will answer all of your questions. Yes, I do have a secret robot army, and no, I do not want to take over the country.”
You hold your breath. Will she actually— “I want to take over the world.”
She barely has time to take off her motorcycle helmet before you grab her hands and pin the newly-crowned Emperor of the World against the wall.
She tugs against your grip, but you hold her hands fast above her head. “How does it feel,” you ask her, nose-to-nose, “Hannah, Emperor of the World, to literally own everything?“
They all fell, from parliaments to congresses to presidencies to dictatorships. The very same robots Hannah sold the world now ruled it. You don’t think it took fifteen minutes for them to take command of it all, and they barely had to fire a shot. As for the few countries that had never bought anything from Hannah, well… That’s what her secret robot army’s for.
“How does it feel…” She tries to think of a title for you, but the two of you never really settled on any, so she gives up. “How does it feel, Liz, to own The Emperor of the World?“
You rest your forehead against hers. “My Hannah.”
You glance at the choker around her neck, and the amethyst gem hanging upon it. “Not exactly who I imagined that protecting you from,” you mention.
She looks you right in the eyes. “I trust you,” she says. “Completely.”
She smiles her cute smile. That smile. You don’t know how to describe it. Suddenly, her head darts forward and—
“Ah!” You laugh, wiping your nose on your sleeve. “No licking!”
“Yes ma’am!”
You stare into her eyes again, but keep your distance this time. “You finally did it.”
“They wouldn’t let me go in time.”
“I knew you wouldn’t miss it,” you say. “Do you think Peter—“
“I don’t care if he shows up,” she scowls. “Our anniversary. Not his.”
Your grip on her hands loosens. You wonder if she’d listen if you decided the two of you should remain home, if it would be better for you, and if it would be better for her…
“Your supervillain lover’s not gonna steal you away from me, is he?” you half-laugh.
Her hands slip from yours. He’s never shown up before, but—
Peter showed up. Everything is falling apart.
Around you, the bridge collapses. Purple flame wreathes and heaves and roars!
You want to yell. Scream! The fire rages around you, its heat beating against your skin. Why does it chase you?
You want to let it burn you. You’re sure Hannah must hate you after what you made her do—
You don’t know what you said. Maybe she started it. Maybe the fire started first. Maybe it was all Peter. Maybe he started the fight and the fire!
You and Hannah were fine, then he showed up, and you were afraid: afraid of him; afraid for Hannah; afraid of Hannah; afraid of what she’d do; afraid of what you’d do…
You don’t care how it started, not anymore. You’d take it all back if you could, you’d—
A thick rope of nearly molten metal crashes against the ground. Sparks and embers fly at you! There’s no way out. The fire is everywhere. Once more, the railing is to your back. Will Hannah be there if you look, hovering on her motorcycle, ready to save you again?
The new bridge, all metal and glass, burns as easy as the old. Neither Hannah’s greatest machines nor Peter’s most powerful magic can douse the flames. Steam erupts as giant spider robots fire their jets of water on the blaze.
Hannah’s choker lies on the ground, its amethyst gem glowing in the purple light.
It was best for her. You decided. You and her had to end.
You ordered. She obeyed. Placed the choker at your feet, her face a mess of tears, begging, pleading, as fire encroached from all sides—
You aren’t safe for her. Not with The Fire haunting you. Certainly not with the power she gives you over herself. You don’t know what Peter will do with her, but it has to be better than this.
Through the flames you can see her struggling against his grip, behind his ever-weakening shield, and you want to go to her. You want to save her from him.
But you want him to save her from the fire.
Over the roar of the flames, she screams: “Liz!”
Your knees buckle. Your vision fades. She doesn’t hate you… She just…
You try not to look at her. Try not to let her know you care. Try not to hurt her anymore.
Then you hear it.
Clunk. Clunk. “Please, Liz!” Hannah screams, but… Clunk. Clunk.
The figure approaches as much through the fire and steam as part of it. Spotlights from Hannah’s army above follow her approach.
“I know you are here,” her whisper carries through the blasting wind of the fire. Her left eye is wrapped in a rough rag. Her other glows infectious with a bright purple flame.
Her heavy magical steampunk armor shines in the purple light. The canons upon her shoulders are ready to fire. With every step of her metal boots, the burning bridge shakes, a trail of purple flame left in her wake.
“In the land of the blind,” she whispers, “the one-eyed man is King…”
You know that voice.
Lights—the searchlights, the streetlamps, the very stars in the sky, even the blue light of Peter’s shield and the purple light of the fire—all begin to flicker…
“I am your King.” Her glowing purple eye scans the bridge. Its light is all that remains, a searchlight…
It’s her. How can it be her?
“An eye for an eye, Elizabeth,” she whispers, her voice carrying across the bridge. Her eye finds Hannah. Focuses upon her. “Shall we take hers?”
Purple flame flies from her shoulder canon. It illuminates a giant spider robot rearing to attack, but—BANG! Just like that, the robot explodes.
“Liz’s mom is dead,” whispers Hannah.
The King approaches Hannah, shaking her head. “No, My Hannah… I am The Fire, I am The King. And Hannah, you belong to Me. My Hannah.”
Then you realize. The purple fire took your mother’s right eye. She in turn did her best to take your left.
The King misses her left.
There’s nothing you can do, because this was always going to happen.
It’s you. It’s all you. You are The King. You are The Fire. They are your monsters. They are your demons.
They are you.
You became upset. Afraid. They answered, as they always have. You brought them to hurt the one you love.
You tried so hard to protect her from yourself, but you knew you were always going to hurt her.
By now you know she must have pieced it together. You can’t look at her.
You scramble to your feet. You can hear her yelling behind you—
You run.
She gave herself to you, and you knew…
You jump. The water approaches—
You knew one day you would betray that trust.
You gasp for breath.
It was all a dream. None of it happened. None of it could have. Hannah’s safe. You can feel her in bed next to you…
“Hannah,” you mumble. Your eyelids are so heavy. You just want to lay here forever…
You wonder when she’ll actually get around to taking over the world. Maybe she’ll give it to you for your birthday. Not that you’d know what to do with the world. She’s always been terrible with gifts.
You smile. Open your eyes. Look at her…
Empty.
Something behind your lungs lurches.
“It all fell apart.” You can’t think straight, even just remembering it.
“Once upon a time,” you say, trying to will yourself to confess, to come clean, to own up to your shame. “Once upon a time, Peter pushed Hannah away to protect her from the world. We always said what a dick he was.”
Weakly, you laugh. “And then, once upon a time, I pushed her away to protect her from myself.
“Guess that makes me a dick too, hey?”
Your interviewer—is her name Sarah?—holds your hand. “Most magical people never reach the age of sixteen,” she tells you. “Their out-of-control magic…”
She looks into your eyes. “It feels terrible to be like that. Out-of-control.”
She clicks her purple pen. Clicks it again. Again. Sets it down. Gazes off into space.
The purple of the pen reflects on the glass table as it tilts back and forth, back and forth… “The purple fire would come when I was upset. Really, properly upset. It would make everything worse. It would come and I would get more upset and everything would, it would just—“
You squeeze the purple pen. Click it. Try to shove the fire from your mind.
Click. Click-Click. Click. Click.
Empty.
Wall to wall. Floor to ceiling. Your home is nothing but glass, and you. You weren’t even left a bed.
You’re starting to cry again, but you know crying will just make it come back.
The tear falls. Splash. Hiss. A spark of purple.
Fuck it. You don’t care. You let go and scream!
A wave of purple flame explodes from you. It hits the windows, swirls around you, a whirlwind of purple heat. And yet…
The Fire, birthed from your emotions as it may be, cannot properly express them.
You are a complete and utter idiot.
You collapse to the floor.
Knock-Knock.
Click-Click.
“I had a choice. Who did I want to become?”
Click.
“Hannah made that choice once. She founded Unicorn Killer. Built this tower. The hoverboards. The flying motorcycles. The robot army. All of it. She protected herself from the world by closing herself off from it. It couldn’t hurt her. She made that choice.”
Knock-Knock.
You hear the doors slide open. You don’t bother looking up.
“Going to keep me locked up here forever?” you ask.
Anna’s metal feet clink against the wooden floor as she approaches. She steps over you. “Going to keep yourself locked up here forever?” she asks.
“You’re supposed to kill me.” It’s what you made her for, anyway.
She lays down in front of you. Holds your hand. Her purple eyes look into your own.
“I pulled you from the water.” You don’t understand why she would do such a thing. She should hate you. You hate you, and you aren’t even programmed to.
“Where’s Hannah?” you ask.
Click-Click.
“Hannah made that choice. I spent all my time helping her un-make it.”
You want to be with her again. You want to be happy. You want her to be happy. Would she be happier without you?
You force yourself to think about her. You need to do what’s right, but what is right?
You don’t know what you’d say if you saw her again. You don’t know how you’d say it. You don’t know if she’d even want to hear it.
You don’t know where Peter took her. Does she need rescuing? Or is she going to fly out of nowhere and rescue you? You look out the window, wishing to see her on her motorcycle, ready to save the day… But there’s nothing except the city a thousand floors below.
If she’s not there to rescue you…
“Fuck it,” you say. Anna smiles. “I’m finding Hannah.”
Click-Click. Click. Click-Click.
“I can neither confirm nor deny the rumors of giant robot spiders laying siege to the countryside.”
You stand before an old house in the countryside, surrounded by fields, Hannah’s army, and little else.
Half the robot army stands behind you. The other half hovers overhead. You tell yourself you’re ready. Between the robot army and your own heavy armor, you must be ready.
You steady yourself. Prepare to knock—
“Come here often?”
She approaches on her gleaming white unicorn, a slight smile upon her lips. You can’t help but smile back. It’s her! You can’t believe it; are you dreaming again?
She pats the unicorn. “Peter had poor Brianna locked away,” she says.
“I thought he’d have you locked away.”
“Well, you would know,” she smiles impishly. “I’m a little more difficult to keep locked up.”
Her smile drops into a cold glare, and your stomach drops with it. “Even without the gem on my col—“
BANG! A robot spider explodes!
Immediately, the robots respond. Their green beams of energy fly in all directions, fighting against spears of magic that seem to come from everywhere. Does Peter have an army of his own? Some kind of army you can’t even see?
Grains of something fall from the sky. Is it… sand?
“Hannah is Mine,” booms his voice. You try to find her; she was right next to you—
A blast of you-don’t-even-know flies your way, solidifying into blades of blue magic. Your own purple fire reacts upon its own, stopping them just before they can slice through your neck.
He grabs another handful of dirt from the ground and tosses it into the air. Its blue energy swirls around you. The robots chip away at it with their beams, but they don’t want to hit you. You try to fight back. You want to grab ahold of your fire, but you’re afraid, you know you’ll lose control again—
You push!
Your fire goes every-which-way; its heat ignites the little house and the tall grass fields all around.
Ten thirty-foot high spiders begin firing upon Peter, and it’s all he can do to shield. He tries to raise the ground before him into a monster of his own—a giant dragon?—but the spiders mow it down.
They begin to advance on Peter, and for a moment, you think you can actually win… But your purple fire rages stronger and stronger, and encircles you both. You can’t control it at all; it roars and swirls and pushes the robots back.
And now, as your fire encroaches from all around, as its power overwhelms you, you can see it overwhelms Peter, too. You can feel him tugging at it, pulling, trying to bring it under his control.
“Mine…” he mutters, “Mine…” he tries to convince himself. But no matter what he says or does, it will never be his. It could never be his, just as Hannah could never be his, just as she could never be yours but by her own determination to be so.
Clip-clop.
Peter turns. Hannah looks straight through the fire, and straight at you. You see her, and think of all the things you still want to say. “Sorry” doesn’t really cut it, and you’re not sure you’d be able to say it anyway, but you know you have to. You can feel the heat, again. It begins to swirl around you, its bright purple flame pulsating with your heartbeat.
It lifts you into the air, twisting, turning, swirling, a monstrous whirlwind of fire—
“Liz!” you hear Hannah scream. “Hannah!” you yell.
The unicorn rears. Peter jumps in front. Hannah stabs him through the heart—
Charge!
Hannah’s coming right for you. She’s coming right for the fire. She’s going to burn— You panic—
“Let go,” whispers the fire in your ear. You can feel the inferno waiting to melt your skin if you just let it. If you just let go, it’ll burn you, Hannah, everything.
Hannah is going to die. You are going to die. You don’t want to go on without her, and you don’t want go on with yourself.
The Fire whispers in your ear… “Just let go…”
Fuck the Fire. The Fire is fucking yours, and so is fucking Hannah.
“AHHHHH!” You grab the fire, from the burning fields to the maelstrom around you, and you pull!
BANG!
White.
Nothing.
“Thank you for sharing this with me,” says Sarah, your interviewer. She collects her pens. She reaches for the purple one still clutched tightly in your hand, but thinks better of it.
“I didn’t think I had much of a choice.”
“You could have un-designed the government.”
“I’m surprised you’re not trying to get me arrested,” you say.
“Why ever would I do that?” She seems legitimately puzzled.
“I killed your oh-so-wonderful ‘Emperor’,” you remind her. “I killed Hannah.“
“Liz… The Emperor is not precious to the world by virtue of being Emperor for a Day, or even for bringing world peace,” she tells you.
She reaches for your hand. “The Emperor is precious to us all because we know what she meant to you.
“We know that for you, The Emperor—may her memory live on forever and ever, until all Humankind shall perish—we know that she was the most important thing in the world to you. And if she was that important to you, she is that important to us all.”
She closes her notebook. “I know this is really old, common advice, but… have you tried writing about it? You don’t have to publish it! Just writing helps.
“Though, if you wanted to publish… I know we all—the whole world—would love to read it. ‘Liz and Her Emperor…’”
She stands.
“Thank you. Same time next week okay with you?”
Anna shows her out. You retire to the bedroom, ready to collapse.
“How was therapy?” she asks.
She shakes you awake.
“‘anna?”
“It’s me! It’s Hannah!”
Your eyes snap open. You’re on the ground. The ashes of the field, the house, everything are all around you. Peter’s body is a ways away. The unicorn looks to be considering its virtue as a meal.
And Hannah is right above you.
As the robots sift over the battlefield, you collapse into Hannah’s arms, and cry.
Sometimes, you wish you were hers, so you could be there for her like she is for you.
“See this?” she says, fastening the metallic band of the choker around her neck. “See? I’m putting it on. It says I’m your Hannah. It says your Hannah knows you won’t hurt her. It says she is yours. It says that.”
She points at the purple gem. “It says your Hannah charged into your fire for you, because she knew you needed her, and she knew you wouldn’t hurt her.”
She pushes you onto the bed. Crawls on top of you.
She gently touches your hand, and you realize the purple pen is still there. She touches it briefly, and looks up at you questioningly. You’re not sure what she’s asking permission for, but you nod. She takes it, clicks it, and writes carefully upon her shoulder: “Liz’s Hannah.”
“See?” she asks. “Yours. Don’t make me tell you again, you hear? Don’t. Make. Me. Tell. You. Again.”
You don’t really think you can say much of anything at the moment. Everything feels so light and happy and right.
You let your fire swirl around you both, blanketing the bed, caressing Hannah with your warm flames. Your Hannah. Your Emperor.
She tried to give the world to you, but you know it will always be hers, no matter how dead she pretends to be. It will always be hers… But she will always be yours.
“Now,” she says, “Being all ‘in control’ like this isn’t really my thing, so… Your turn. Go on. Get to it!”
You grin. Pull on the fire. Your wispy arms grasp her hands and feet, lift her into the air, and…
You won’t make her tell you again.